Newt will never be President, but just in case.

From a profile in Vanity Fair, from 1995. A lot of the article is how his then-wife really didn't want to be first lady. But the quote to savor is this:

But in Washington there are many demands on the Speaker's time. Since Newt became a national celebrity, he has no shortage of female admirers --from Callista Bisek, a former aide in Congressman Steve Gunderson's office who has been a favorite breakfast companion, to the ubiquitous Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington, who has become a self-appointed guardian to the newly desirable Newt.

This is sort of like that picture of Clinton hugging Monica on the rope line. Little did we know at the time…

The fact that this serial philandering, disgraced former speaker is selling himself as the savior of America's values ought to be as laughable as a pizza ceo/restaurant lobbyist being president.